You are not defeated! Feeling defeat and being defeated are two different things. It’s so easy to feel defeat when the story isn’t over. And let me tell you, if you are breathing, the story isn’t over!
There is nothing worse, in my mind than finishing a day of work, or the time you have allotted to work on a project, with loose ends and unresolved issues looming.
Okay, there is worse, like locking your keys in the car and not realizing it until time to leave work (yes, this happened to me), but you get what I mean. When you haven’t figured out the details that seem to be pressing or missing, or the adjustments to figures that are throwing off your budget reports – it can be so frustrating.
What about when you have messiness in a relationship that continues to fester? It’s the worst, and it seems to weigh on us with great heaviness, regret and anxiety until we take action to work through it.
Maybe it’s as simple as almost finishing a goal or not quite achieving a dream. This is where negative self-talk can seep into the crevices of our minds if we’re not careful. It took me over twenty-five years to return to college and finish what I started, my Associate’s degree. Now I’m working on my Bachelor’s degree and I’m determined to see this through to the end.
Delayed dreams are not dead dreams! Don’t give up even if it feels as though they are. For extra encouragement on persevering, you’ll want to grab one of my favorite books, Don’t Give Up by Kyle Idleman. This book challenges me to say the course no matter what!
I’m becoming more and more aware of how much I don’t like being in the middle of tension and yet, this is often where I find myself planted. I rather figure it out, wrap it up, and move on. Most things take a process to get to the finish line, and in the “in-between” is where God loves to work in our lives most. Hmmm.
Learning to do what we can now and lay aside what we can’t, and trust God with the rest often takes a steep learning curve. Just when you think you’ve got it down, God has a way of stretching us all over again.
Feeling defeat and being defeated are two different things.
It’s hard to be motivated to handle things in other areas of our lives when we can’t let go of unresolved frustration. It affects how we treat those around us. They may not know what’s wrong, but they know when something isn’t right. It’s kind of like saying something neutral with a negative tone, the person you are talking to can tell things aren’t okay.
Add insult to injury, with people, media, and politics in our world continuing to explode, and peace feeling far-fetched – eating a whole bowl of leftover red and green Christmas M&M’s seems like a great way to cope. Yes, I did – grace me, please.
The key is: feeling defeated is not the same as being defeated.
The story isn’t over. You are still breathing. Tomorrow is a new day.
You wake up the next day, go to work and guess what, you figure the thing out that was driving you crazy. You find the mistake; you adjust the figures and viola, it all adds up. Your formula on the spreadsheet was one line off, so you fix it and now things are making sense.
You prayerfully confront the person who is under your skin, with God’s help, and you and they are better for it. God has a way of working these things out when we humble ourselves, ask for His help and guidance, and follow His leading. This doesn’t guarantee the other person’s response will always be right, but if you’ve followed what God has asked of you, then you can trust the results are in His hands.
You did it. You did your part at least! There is no better feeling than knowing you conquered what was plaguing you.
Do we know our feelings can deceive us? Of course we do, or at least we should. They are a signal on our dashboard that we need to pay attention to, but now bow down to.
Do we know that just because we feel some kind of way about an experience, that doesn’t mean it’s true of who we are as a person? Hopefully so, and yet it’s so easy to go there and find yourself in a negative place.
Why is it we have not gotten better at working through our feelings and not letting them determine our evening, what we eat, how long we watch or scroll, or if we buy something to ease our discomfort? I do better, and then I have a moment. You?
We’re human and we know better but we just don’t seem to care, or we forget when we get caught up in how we feel.
What I’ve noticed is this. It’s amazing how tiny adjustments can make a HUGE course correction and shift EVERYTHING in our lives and in our feelings.
Small changes can reap big rewards!
Finding one minor mistake can change the direction of our entire day and make things add up that weren’t adding up at all. God has a way of doing this for us when we’re willing to adjust our ways to His.
And also, for the record, just being able to speak your yucky feelings to a close confidant, so you can move on, is such a gift. Grace to you if this is where you are at. We all need word vomit sessions, a good night’s sleep, and new mornings and fresh coffee. You may not be defeated, you may just be tired.
Grace yourself.
You aren’t defeated.
You will figure it out with God’s help.
You can work through relationship snafus as God gives you wisdom. Pray and wait even when it’s hard.
Tomorrow you will have renewed energy to handle what felt overwhelming today.
God gives grace for what you are to accomplish right now, not for what you are trying to tackle today that is on tomorrow’s agenda.
Pay attention to the difference.
Know when your grace for today has run dry.
Give yourself a break.
Rest.
Don’t make anymore decisions for the day.
Learn when it’s time to compartmentalize and let it go.
We all have our limits, recognize yours. You are not defeated. God is with you!
You got this! I’m cheering you on!
With much love and grace,
Joelle Povolni
P.S. If you are struggling with defeat please read Are You Tired of Feeling Defeated? and know you are not alone!
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