There are days I am just at a loss.
A loss for words. Not because there are none to say, mostly because I have absolutely too many to say and all the sticky emotions that come with them.
So to avoid letting all the feelings and words tumble out, since I am trying to NOT repeat and focus on my frustrations, I focus on repetitive task instead.
Like stripping more wallpaper off the bathroom walls or raking up the leaves, pine needles, and pine cones. Dragging the rake across the earth, pulling together everything that needs to be removed into piles; it feels therapeutic to my soul.
That’s what I often want to do with parts of my life that feel disappointing and painful. Gather them all up in piles, put my gloves on, and stuff them in trash bags-tossing them out never to return.
Yet, we are called to be brave. Not to hide, run, or toss all the hard things away.
“If we are brave enough, often enough, we will fall. Daring is not saying “I’m willing to risk failure.” Daring is saying “I know I will eventually fail, and I’m still all in.” I’ve never met a brave person who hasn’t known disappointment, failure, even heartbreak.”
– Brenè Brown from her book, Dare To Lead.
So today if you are working through your emotions, trying to process life.
If you are feeling the weight of the long wait.
If you are trying to figure out what God is asking you to do or change or what not to do.
If things seem messy, confusing, and unclear.
It’s ok, even when it does not feel like anything is ok.
You are brave even when . . . you feel weak and frustrated. Being heartbroken, disappointed, or confused is part of this life.
In these moments I envision crawling up in my Heavenly Father’s lap and letting out and letting go of all my emotions, disappointments, and heartaches. Ok, recently this looked more like unloading it all while on the phone to my mom-but, God was listening too. Wink. Wink.
Although He has all the answers, most likely he will not hand you ALL the answers in that very moment. But, He will reassure you of his love for you, as He understands our human hearts and emotions.
He may ask, “Do you trust me?”
He will hold you.
He will call out greatness in you.
He wants us to know that He is our safe place to unload, process, and heal.
He may want you to know that it does NOT all depend on you. He has a plan!
And he wants you to know that you are brave even when . . .
“He observes all who live on the earth. He made their hearts, so he understands everything they do” (Psalms 33:14-15).
“For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory. The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you” (Psalms 32:7-8).
“. . . unfailing love surrounds those who trust in the Lord” (Psalm 32:10).
In the middle of the messy now, God loves you and is holding you.
In this with you friend! Chin up and lets keep encouraging one another in this journey.
Joelle Povolni
P.S. If you have enjoyed this post you may also enjoy the post, When You Feel Like Running, from last year at this time.
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