Each month more and more homes foreclosed all around us and we lowered the asking price of our house to no avail.
Thirteen long, stretched-out, warren-out months passed. The economy crash had sucked the life out of our business and my husband had taken a job out of state. The kids and I stayed behind to finish school and sell our home. We envisioned the house selling quickly and joining my husband under one roof in no time at all. That “short” faith turned “long” and more difficult than we anticipated.
The caffeine buzz wears off and it seems our faith buzz can too. We know, that we KNOW God can do all things, but this time the situation is larger in scope; it’s more complicated; and the process is moving slow. Faith should come easy right? Not for me and maybe not for you either. I struggle between the tension of knowing God can and believing everyday that He will one way or another. It’s the “another way” that concerns me. Not to mention the bravery and endurance that it takes for stretched out, long faith.
I’m not a fan of endurance training and growth. I like the final outcome of strength, but I would be fine with skipping the “roasting” process that gets me there. Isn’t that how most of us are?
I know God can, but will he?
Can I really trust him?
Are His ways, really better than mine?
I say I trust him and I do and then . . . I don’t and I begin to worry. Faith stretched over time has a tendency to snap like a rubber band. It stings, it crashes all while worry, frustration, and fear step right in to take over. My brain goes into overdrive trying to fix and fit the pieces of the puzzle in their preferred places. Then exhaustion settles in.
The months of “darkness” felt endless, the physical separation of our family beat us down emotionally, and the frustration and stress caused me to long for the covering of night, so I could slip off to another world of relief and sleep.
God’s hand of guidance was evident as there were miracles in between the bouts of silence. The BIG answer did not arrive speedily. The road was spotted with heartache and God was there for that too. He promises to be our comforter.
When God requires “long faith” maybe it’s more like a medium roast coffee. After the roasting process the coffee beans are richer, more intense, the aroma is stronger with a more balanced, full flavor in the end.
This cup of faith may not come effortlessly, but if you walk it out, you know God deeper, fuller, and stronger than if you had not drank from this cup. Living from faith to faith may not be easy, but it beats being enslaved, living from fear to fear. The roasting process is long, the temperature is hotter, the beans crack, and so may our lives crack.
Can I just do faith my way God and avoid the cracking? Have faith, see God work QUICKLY and then coast for a while as more and more of what I desire falls into place. I want the light roast cup of faith please! While I’m looking for the easy way out, God sees fit in his love for you and I, to call us to MORE faith, not easy faith.
“For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “The just shall live by faith.” Romans 1:17
Eventually, on God-time, the answer did arrive. We did persevere and we’re not the prettiest perseverers, I might add. It was not easy. It was not the way we would have chosen, but relief did come and God was faithful as that season wrapped up. “For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” James 1:3-4
I’m the person that says, “God, really? I don’t mind being a bit needy.” Yeah, that’s me. The girl that rather take the easy way out, only to find that the hard way brings me to a richer, fuller place in God. I do not always get it or like it, but I’m trying.
So lately I’ve wanted to scream (not in front of people necessarily), demand things my own way (in a pleading/convincing sort of way to God), and explain to God that there are times we need a break from faith. That hasn’t worked so well. It’s back to the medium roast cup of life. I drink the light roast cup of coffee to get my morning boost of caffeine. Then God calls me to walk out the medium, long roast of faith, that sends a lasting aroma of his relentless love and faithfulness throughout my life.
On the Journey to more,