Pretzels with sherbet ice cream are the perfect blend of salty and sweet,
crunchy and smooth, until you bite down breaking off a temporary cap on a tooth that previously broke. Maybe crunching on chips and salsa earlier in the day did not help to keep my cap in tack. It broke, I break, you break, we all break down at times don’t we?
I could not will the emotions to go away, nor the melting to stop. Tears streamed down my face even though I was doing my best to stop the flood of emotions. A virus taking it’s toll and stressful situations in various areas of life bearing down, and I broke. I balled and at the most inconvenient time and place. Can we just keep all these emotions tucked away, nice and neat, until I can get home please!
The other day I was determined to get our treadmill from the garage into the house. I maneuvered it from the garage around to the front porch, but could not get it through the front door. Frustrating as that was, my husband got home fairly soon after my useless attempt, and together we were able to take it in. It took both of us lifting it with furniture straps and carefully fitting it sideways through the door, one inch at a time.
As independent as I am, there are times that it just takes the strength of two people to accomplish a task. No matter how frustrating that is to a girl, who just rather do it now and not wait on someone else for help, it’s a true part of life; often we need each other.
I prefer adult melting to take place behind closed doors, by myself, preferably in the shower. The tears wash away and you can leave clean and hopefully refreshed, physically and mentally, all at the same time. My preferences do not always reflect my reality.
The heaviness didn’t disappear immediately, but the breaking, the adult melting, began the crumbling of the heavy. I escaped to the women’s restroom to gather myself. All I gathered were more and more tears; they just kept on coming.
She spoke, her words soothing like a mother’s love, with a cool breeze on a summer’s day all wrapped into one. I kept breaking. A woman who’s been THERE, who’s LIVED, and knows THOSE feelings I could no longer shut down. I needed her words of encouragement, her touch, and her prayers of complete peace.
Often our fragile hearts long to know that we are not alone, yet our nature is to hide when life feels like it’s unraveling. In isolation the power of “the other” is lost. There is a part of every women that has a need to be known in our most raw honesty. To be valued and loved in that vulnerable, broken place, while not being condemned or judged.
As she prayed her words paved the way for my thoughts to be re-directed to the one who holds it all in His hands. He understands our grief, our pain, and our fear. We grieve over what we have lost; over change; over other’s decisions; or over our own decisions or fears of the future. I’m reminded that the One in control came to redeem and restore what we think is lost.
God knew what I needed that night. To melt down at the right time, and at the right place – in the presence of another – so He could let His love flow through a beautiful woman that would speak LIFE into me. The adult melting began the release of all that needed to crumble, making room for God to take over.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG).
Maybe we break, so we can learn to release, that our load may be lightened.
Maybe we break, so that we can learn how much we need one another in this life.
Maybe we break to find out that there is a God who cares.
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light” (Matthew 11:28-30 NLT).
If our hearts are heavy, we project that heaviness whether we realize it or not. Jesus carried the weight of the world during His time on earth, leading up to the cross, and yet many were drawn to him to be healed and given new hope. “He was despised and rejected – a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief” (Isaiah 53:3 NLT). What God carries on our behalf, He’s conquered on our behalf. When we give Him our heaviness, He in turn gives us hope, joy, and peace as we trust in him. His sacrifice on the cross was not only to save us, but to lighten our load. Why carry what God has carried and conquered?
Thank God for the holiday weekend that followed my melt down. It was a time of refreshing. I had time with my husband and my family; a good talk with a friend; I watched my 5th grader sing God Bless America at the Friday night high school football game; I slept in one morning; and one of my favorite life therapies: a whole day at home organizing, decorating, and painting. Oh how I needed to put the heaviness aside and enjoy the blessings in my life. I needed God’s rest, His sabbath!
Life piles on in layers and in the layering I forget, once again, to COMPLETELY rely on God. I find myself carrying the “heavyweights” that were not intended for my arms to hold. So I learn to release and the load lightens. What God carries, he has conquered!
Nothing like rolling color out on the wall as weights continued to drop off my shoulders. God intends for us to rest and in the resting physically, get refreshed spiritually. Sabbath is resting and remembering what God has done. As I painted I remembered all that God has done. He is a GOOD father. What’s your therapy? A hot bath, listening to music, going for a jog – make time to do sabbath.
There is power in breaking; there is power in expressing; there is power in joining together with others; there is power in praying; and there is power in resting. Let’s break, pour out and into one another, join together in prayer, and rest – then the joy comes. “Teach me your way, LORD, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear (honor) your name” (Psalm 86:11 NIV).